A Few thoughts about What 2 Review

I have been really busy lately. Aside from the several jobs I find myself working at, I have been getting an Ebay store up and running. Another way for me to pay for my entertainment!!! No seriously, I am making custom books... like baby books, and wedding books, and puppy books. You should see them. I do such a good job. Hehehe. Aw, it’s fun. I hope, eventually, that it will also be profitable.

What what what? What do you mean whattheheck is a Puppy Book? You know, like a Baby Book, only for dogs? Don’t laugh, all of you people who only own a cat, or I won’t create a Cat Book next. I will tell you, “The Life of a Dog, Sweetie Pea’s Journey” is great reading. Scintillating stuff. I know, I know, opening an ebay store is not all that difficult, but when you have about 2 spare hours a day and one of them must be reserved for personal grooming and sleep, you have to be choosy with the other one.

Some things I am thinking of reviewing (aside from Sweetie Pea’s Puppy Book)…

The finale of Flavor of Love Girls Charm School.

What? You didn’t know that I was watching this trashy show? Of course I am. Silly wabbit. VH1 shows are for kaats.

And continuing along this line of thought, I will most likely be watching and commenting on I Love NY Part 2. No one was more delighted than I was when Tango dumped New York on the reunion show. *giggle*. Hey, don’t get me wrong, I hope everyone finds true love and all that, but serially, she did talk badly about his mother. This new show is proving to be amusing already, as the casting call is online, and you can vote for your favorites. If VH1 sticks to this plan, and does allow the viewers to choose the contestants, welp… I admit to being a little amused at the thought of this guy courting New York.

I have had a few requests for reviews. The new Die Hard- yes I will review that, but I kinda have to wait until it comes out. This weekend, I think. But come on, you guys, you already know I am going to like it. I am a child of the eighties, the greatest evah fan of Jack Reacher…. The first movie that got me all choked up in joy was Dirty Harry, followed closely by Death Wish. I am kind of programmed to love any movie about Lt. John McClane, regardless of plot, acting, and/or explosions. If Bruce Willis is grinning and saying the yippee-ki-yay thing, well, I will be pleased. Period.

The Simpsons movie. Uh, yeah…this is a no-brainer, but …doesn’t come out until the end of July.

Evan Almighty. Um. I really, really liked 40 Y.O. Virgin. And Little Miss Sunshine. So I would like to like this, his next big film. However, I am thinking that it will stink. I’m sorry. But consider the facts. He has a white beard. He is building a boat in his yard. There are biblical references. You know this is either going to have a sappy-against-all-odds love story or underdog- rises-to-the-top theme in it, or some kind of meaningful environmental lesson. Le Puke, as they say in France. We’ll see, that’s all I can promise.

Another review request is for the tv show, Man Vs. Wild…. this is a good idea, because yes, I do indeed watch this show. My entire family does. My mother is so enraptured by Mr. Bear that she actually puts quotes from him in her emails. You know, where most people put something noble, or tear-inducing, spoken by Sir Winston Churchill or Mother Teresa or some other famous, intelligent or compassionate person? Yeah. That is where my mom puts something like, “The scurvy snake, it’s bite is quite a little shock,” or “Camel dung is a useful wound packer.” And these emails go out to any number of people that have no idea what Man Vs. Wild is, or Who Bear Grylls is. Cause, you know, it would never occur to her that there are people who don’t watch man Vs. Wild, or it’s predecessor and main competitor, as well as equally-watched, at least by me, Survivorman. Sigh. My family. You gotta love them. Or hate them, if you have to, but I will poke your eye out with a stick I sharpened using fire and a special rock found in alpine meadows if you do.

Let me know what you want a review on. I am making my summer list.

To See Or Not To See-

To See or Not to See, based on the glorious previews that I sit through every time I see a movie. Fine readers and fellow movie viewers, feel free to chime in - comments section, or email, and let me know what you advise- what you are looking forward to, or what you dread....

To See-

Pathfinder

This may indeed be a predictable type of story line, and a predictable type of movie, but ooh baby, it’s what I like. Looks like the Vikings come apillagin’ and pretty much kick a whole lotta Native American butt, way before the white guys with horses came and destroyed everything. They leave one behind, however, a young boy, who we can see from the preview is going to be raised by the injuns and is going to totally riot on the Vikings when they next stick their furry faces in the scene.

Not to See-

TMNT

If you only knew how many endless, forever-gone-never-going-to-get-them-back hours of my life were spent watching and/or listening to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie Three, when my oldest son was a toddler and in that horrible stage of watching movies over and over and over again…. you would not even need to know why I will never, and that means EVER, watch the continuing adventures of the four adolescent mutated turtles gifted in the art of ninja. No matter how good the animation is. The very word “Splinter” makes me shudder with coagulated boredom.

To See or Not To See

I get quite a few emails from people with suggestions, or requests, for movies to watch. Obviously, I cannot watch them all, or I would not have time to work, and then I could not afford internet access, and would never be able to do any posts...not to mention that I couldn't afford a movie ticket, or my Netflix membership or... oh muh-ANN...eventually, I would end up sitting on my homeless curb, fingering an old copy of T.V. Guide and mumbling about the good old days...
But I have decided to incorporate this new little feature of the Biased Book and Movie Review....
To See or Not to See, based on the glorious previews that I sit through every time I see a movie. Fine readers and fellow movie viewers, feel free to chime in - comments section, or email, and let me know what you advise- what you are looking forward to, or what you dread....

To See:

Waitress. Keri Russell plays a pregnant waitress married to an asshole who looks to be falling in love with her hunky doctor, Nathan Fillion. To see if only because she names pies after the emotional upheavals she is going through. Who doesn't like a movie with cleverly named pies?


Not To See:

Vacancy.

A couple who "left the interstate" (obviously the catchphrase for the movie- don't leave the interstate) check into a creepy little hotel where to their horror, they discover video tapes of that very room- where people are getting murderalized. There was time, when I was young, when I really enjoyed being scared. Not no more, nuh-uh, and the preview freaked me out enough.