Live Free or Die Hard Movie Review

Live Free or Die Hard

Starring: Bruce Willis, Timothy Olyphant, Justin Long, Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Directed by: Len Wiseman

Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, language and a brief sexual situation

130 min

Look at that face, people. Rocky, in the new Rocky movie, looked like an old slab of meat that had sat in the sun for like thirteen years. (that doesn’t mean I didn’t like the movie, I did, honest. But, meat is meat.) I do not look forward to seeing him shirtless and carrying a big gun in the next and in my honest opinion completely unnecessary Rambo movie. I am already squeezing my eyes shut in anticipation of Indiana Jones’s appearance in the next Raiders of the Gigantic Hole in the Ground of A Dark and Sinister Country, or whatever it will be. Ok, alright, old guys in Hollywood are making all these comeback movies, raising old characters from the dusty ground, it’s the In Thing to do, but the only one who has carried it off, every damn bit of it, is Bruce Willis. Now that, my friends, is a man who has aged well.

Of course, I am well known for my passionate approval of bald men. But seriously, look at him! Isn’t he tough? Isn’t he cool? Doesn’t he just look like the most capable, rock-solid NY city cop who chuckles at danger and punches saber-toothed horses in the jaw? Yeah, that’s right. Lt. John McClane was in fine form, people. Fine form, indeed.

I told you I was going to go see Live Free or Die Hard next. I told you I was going to like it. No surprises.

McClane is not retired, thank the Movie Gods. He is still in fine fightin’ fettle, still a cop, only now he is Detective McClane and assigned such important tasks as escorting a well-known hacker, Matt Farrell (Long), to Washington DC, so he can be questioned by the FBI in a series of disturbing hack jobs on the government computer mainframes. Right from the start, when a bunch of bad guys (including an exceptionally monkey-like, leaping, flexible, bouncing criminal dude who is fun to watch) try to murder the hacker before he can get to the feebs, the action is non-stop and bold as a pair of brass balls. Just like McClane. Just how we fans like it. Add in some danger to Lucy, McClane’s all grown up and fairly bustin’-out brave herself daughter, and a “firesale” going on in the country (This is hacker termanology that means controlling the entire country by taking over transportation, finance, and utilities by using computers) we’ve got action, we’ve got suspense, we’ve got buttkicking on the way.

The stunts are extra-stuntacular. The explosions super-dee-duper explosiveish. The car chases and (of course) car crashes and crazy-ass crashtactical. And McClane has not lost his wisecracking muttering or his sense of dark humor. He was not as joke-cracking and quirky as he was in the earlier movies, but that was fine by me. Who stays exactly the same as they grow older? The McClane portrayed in this latest installment was older, more grizzled, and definitely wiser. In Die Hard, the original, he was almost devil-may-care, facing a bunch of nutso terrorists and laughing his ass off the whole time. Now we can see reflected in his more somber eyes the years and experiences he has passed through since. Forgive me for romanticizing an action hero, for pete’s sake, but as we all know, I will, I must, I live to do exactly that. Willis has a great charisma with Long, and we get to see the old dog at least watch some new tricks, if not exactly learn them, when Matt shows off his own unusual talents.

Yes, he does say it. But I am not going to tell when, or how. But the Yippee kai yay is in there, babies.

I give it 4 &s

&… I love it when They do a new movie in an old series without looking like a bunch of headless chicken asshats with no concept of who the character is

&…Bruce himself- he’s an old, bent nail that is still pretty damn sharp

&… Long, I enjoyed him in Waiting, I liked him more in this role

&… an interesting plot that I don’t think I rolled my eyes at one time