myspace layouts, myspace codes, glitter graphics Totally Biased Book and Movie Review: To See or Not To See, and BUY MY BOOK

Friday, April 13, 2007

To See or Not To See, and BUY MY BOOK

To See or Not to See, based on the glorious previews that I sit through every time I see a movie. Fine readers and fellow movie viewers, feel free to chime in - comments section, or email, and let me know what you advise- what you are looking forward to, or what you dread....

To See:

The third in the Pirates of the Caribbean series.. the end of the world, or whatever… Ok, it is called At World’s End. Now, I am not saying I will go the theater for this, in all likelihood, I will not. I will watch it once it arrives at my doorstep in a neat little red Netflix envelope. But I will see it, if for no other reason than Johnny Depp is amusing in that character, come on, you have to admit it! No matter how lame the second one might have been compared to the fist, it was still interesting enough that I watched the entire thing, and I thought the action was good… plus, I wasn’t offended horribly by the “unrealistic” characters introduced, like Davey Jones with his face and headful of wormy tentacles. But I have to ask it, if you are looking for realism, why are you watching a movie called “Pirates of the Caribbean” instead of the discovery channel?

And… since we are talking about crazy ass sequels, what about the next Die Hard movie: Live Free or Die Hard? Of course I will see it, no matter how much it makes me cringe to even imagine it. But look at the Rocky movie- that turned out to be pretty damn good.

Sadly, I doubt very much that Lt. John McClane is going to be portrayed as the older, softer version, as Rocky was. Judging from the previews, there isn’t going to be a whole lot in common with the original Die Hard, either (one of my favorite movies ever). Nope, looks like lots of explosions and lots of cars racing and McClane guffawing and floating one liners at a young, silly “partner” who will be in awe of this mysterious old man’s expertise in…well, just about anything. And… they have his daughter. *swelling- serious - music *. So, even if it isn’t a good Die Hard movie, it probably still falls under the category of sweaty men with guns getting revenge, therefore it’s watchable to me.

Not To See:

Perfect Stranger, on the other hand, does not look very interesting to me. I will see Bruce Willis in the Die Hard movie, but this…not so much. Halle Berry and Willis are both pretty big star power to draw folks in, but not in this way- Berry thinks Willis killed her friend, and now she has to go “undercover” to prove it. Not only is it hard for me to think of Willis as a weaselee, murdering, big businessman, it is also hard for me to think of Berry as an undercover secret agent-type, ferreting out mysteries. This is the kind of movie where my (admittedly short) attention span gets entirely away from me, and I go to the bathroom six hundred times, and keep pouring my popcorn on the floor so that I can go get a 50 cent refill. Speaking of which, does everyone have this option at their local theater? You buy this huge tub of buttery goop popcorn for about nineteen dollars, BUT… if you eat it all and still want to manifest your extreme gluttony, you can go get it “refilled” for 50 cents? Same goes for the seventeen dollar cup o’ Pepsi. Is this unique to my home’s movie theater, or do all theaters have such a fricked up way of selling shit? Oh, I was saying, I doubt I will see this one, but who knows? If it gets good reviews, I might change my mind. That is, after all, a Kaat’s prerogative.

What doyathinkof: (Or.. “I am not sure if I will see or not see”)

Disturbia, where an extremely young looking Shia LaBeof (and yes it is hard for me to see him as a grownup after all that Holes nonsense… how can he be under arrest again, but as an “adult” just a few years later?) is under house arrest and so, of course, starts spying on the neighborhood. He discovers not only that he has a hot neighbor who wants to spy with him, but that one of the other neighbors just might be a knife-wielding maniac. Always fun! Anyone looking forward to this one?

And one final note- please do admire the newly published “ 30 Kaat Dayz”, sold at Lulu, advertised just over to the right of this post under “Biased reviews in a book? Let me BUY IT!” If not to purchase, just to, you know, admire the dazzling cover that I labored over in photoshop for like, I dunno, twenty minutes or even twenty-three.

It is a collection of thirty blog posts, sort of a “test book” to screw around with on lulu, but when I mentioned it to a few people, they expressed a strange desire to buy it. Ok, whatever, crazy, people, there it is. Make me rich or something.

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Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

I still need to see the second Pirates film >.<

2:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I ordered my copy! I can't wait to have you.. er, it.. in my hands.

8:31 AM  
Blogger Meowkaat said...

ew... anonymous, you're pushing it.

8:32 AM  

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