300 Movie Review

300

directed by: Zack Snyder

starring: Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, Dominic West, David Wenham, Rodrigo Santoro

Rated R for graphic battle sequences throughout, some sexuality and nudity.

117 min

Ask yourself, before you buy a ticket for 300, if you enjoyed Sin City. Did you like the tons of CGI, the feeling that you were watching a comic book, or as some have said, a videogame, come to life? Are you ok with a movie shot almost entirely in front of a green screen- no big “location” shoots? If you don’t give half of a shit about stuff like that, but love blood and guts and glory, then this new movie, based on another of Frank Miller’s comics, is probably right up your alley.

300 is, to put it quite simply, gory eye candy. If you are the type who cringes at fistfights on screen, the one who covers your eyes when someone is going to get stabbed, or feels ill at a decapitation, here is your only warning- don’t see this movie.

If, on the other hand, you are like me, and LOVE that kind of stuff- get in line, and get there early, because I was in the theater saving seats a full twenty minutes before showtime and it was already packed.

For once I didn’t mind being in a crowded theater. This is because I was quite literally, swept away on the tide of- like I said, gory eye candy unfolding before me.

I loved this movie. I didn’t care that it had no deep plot to speak of… obviously, if you are going to see 300 for the historical accuracy in the plot and great character development, you’ve been sorely misled, and are completely oblivious to previews, too. The second I saw the preview for this movie, I knew I was going to see it, and I had pretty high hopes I was going to like it.

The basic story (and it never goes beyond basic) is quickly unfolded- Sparta is going to be overrun by the thousands and thousands of Xerxes’s the so-called god king’s, troops from Persia. Leonidas, the Spartan King, doesn’t want to see that happen. His initial plan for kicking their butts- leading the entire Spartan army against them, gets shot down by the corrupt, and may I add disgusting, old priests who inform him that the timing isn’t right for war. (Of course, said disgusting old priests have been bought off before Leonidas ever approached them.) So, in the face of imminent invasion, what is a bad ass king like Leonidas supposed to do?

Take 300 of your best guys into the face of certain death, of course. Handpicked for their bravery (and the fact that they have all had kids to carry on their name), the 300 are willing to fight to the death alongside their king in the hopes that they can turn aside Xerxes’ ravening hordes, and inspire the folks back home to step up and send the army before it’s too late.

Leaving behind his Queen, who is just as much of a bad ass as Leo himself, and his own son to carry on the family moniker, the king and his troops set off for the coast, where they plan to force the kabillions of Persians into fighting them in a little bottleneck, where “numbers don’t matter”. The queen is left with the task of trying to change the council’s collective mind about sending the army, and fending off the grotesque attentions of Leonidas’s arch enemy, the greasy and wholly repulsive Theron.

The rest of the movie, give or take a minute or two spent back at the city, where, as I said, the Queen has her own fight going on, is all about the blood and guts of battle. Nearly every sequence is shot in slow motion, and it was, to me, breathtaking. Heads roll and blood gushes. Strange creatures abound in the Persian army, and Xerxes, when he finally appears, is as creepy as they come, standing about eight feet tall and speaking in a voice straight out of a nightmare. Battle after battle ensues, with barely time to gobble a handful of popcorn before the next sequence left me with my mouth hanging open in a foolish, delighted grin. Let me tell you, though there is little doubt that men of all ages will love this movie (I took my husband and my teenaged son and both of them were entranced) there were a whole lot of gals in the audience too, and we were the ones cheering in certain spots. Yes, there was actual cheering in the theater, and I admit to have led it. If you see the movie, you will know what scene it was in.

Ah, sure, you’re always going to have some whiners complaining about one thing or another- including the lack of depth in the plotline, the fact that there was almost a cheeky thread of very modern-sounding humor throughout this film, the great liberty taken with history … but in answer, I can only remind everyone that this is an adaptation of a comic book, not a documentary of ancient Sparta, and it does exactly what it is supposed to- entertains and lets you escape the real world for a couple of hours. So quit your griping, and enjoy the full-on graphic violence and chest-beating action that is 300.

Bravo!

I give it 5 &s

&… jaw-dropping cinematography

&… a simple, brutal plot- little group of guys against big group of bullies- when does that not appeal?

&… effective acting by all the people involved, they got the job done, and the character across

&… enough action to make me lie awake thinking when I go to bed

&… did I mention blood and guts and glory?