Eragon Book AND Movie Review

Eragon (the Book)

By Christopher Paolini

Published by Knopf Books for young readers

544 pages

Eragon (the Movie)

Directed by: Stefen Fangmeier

Starring: Edward Speleers, Jeremy Irons, Sienna Guillory

Rated PG for fantasy violence, intense battle sequences and some frightening images

104 minutes

I will just start out on a positive note, letting ya’all know with no uncertainty whatsoever that Eragon is a dang good book. If you are a Reader like me (note the capital, it means something… and if you don’t know what it means, then don’t worry, you’re not one.) then you will find yourself satisfied by this big hunk o’ book. The cover shows a dragon out of every fantasy-lover’s dreams, silvery-blue scales and huge eye gleaming, but not unkindly. ( I always liked that backwards-sounding phrase that is in use so freely…. I mean think about it, doesn’t it sound like it has too many words… “he smiled, but not unkindly.” Seems like it should just say, “He smiled kindly”. But hey that’s me, and just one example of the bizarreness my mind will travel to when it’s left on its own for too long. I better get back to it) The story, of a young farm boy who goes hunting in the creepy woods called The Spine, and finds an unusual stone that later hatches, will warm the cockles of any fantasy-lover’s heart.

And, not to go off-track again here, but what in the HELL are cockles, anyway? It makes me think of those little spiny prickly balls that stick to the cuffs of your pants while you’re walking through fields, and I don’t normally associate small, spiny annoyances with my heart, but in this case, I’m forced to. So if anyone knows what a real “cockle”, of the heart type, is, feel free to let us all know. We’re on tenterhooks. And if you know what a tenterhook is, you get bonus points.

Ok back to the story. Eragon, who is not the dragon, but the boy, finds this big blue rock. He seems to forget pretty quickly that he found the blue rock during an unusual lightning-crack explosion that scorched the woods around him. The few little discrepancies such as this that are found in the book are easily forgiven once the reader discovers that the author was fifteen when he penned the tale.

Yes the rock hatches, and here’s your big surprise of the day, it is a dragon that crawls out, not a chicken. A female dragon, to be precise, of the blue variety. Her name is Saphira, and fairly quickly we learn that she has chosen to hatch for Eragon, and with this hatching and choosing, a new legend has come to life…. The Dragon Riders are reborn! Prophesies are being fulfilled, and Eragon and Saphira set off on major adventures with Brom, his guide and mentor, who is the crusty old storyteller from the village.. or is he?

I’m not telling any more of the story because if you haven’t read it, you’ll want to find out all the good stuff on your own. And if you have read it, you already know. And if you don’t want to read it, screw you. Haaa! Just KIDDING. But the point is, no more spoilers.

The movie, you see, had enough spoilage for anyone. And by spoilage, I don’t mean the give-away-surprises kind. I mean the stinky, rotten, hold your nose kind. Again I went against all of training as a reviewer and did not prepare myself for this movie-going experience with other reviews beforehand. Make not my mistakes, children! Always read the reviews before you waste that eight dollars on a ticket to a movie that won’t even let you enjoy your popcorn sprinkled with white cheddar.

An example of a damn good fantasy book turned into a damn good fantasy movie is Lord of the Rings. An example of a damn good fantasy book turned into a just-another Disney movie with big flashy CG scenes and very little to do with the actual, you know, story… is Eragon. As far as Eragon Le Movie is concerned, well, “Le Pyew”, I would say, if I was a cartoon character, which I am not, contrary to popular belief.

It is fine movie if it’s not supposed to bear much resemblance to the book. It’s a fine movie to take your ten year old son to, he who has not read the book. It’s a fine movie if your idea of a good movie is dragons talking in a too-wise voice in Eragon’s head, him acting like a spoiled little baby until suddenly he becomes this warrior dude, like in a split second. It’s fine if you don’t mind the huge leaps and gaps in the storyline, filled in with action sequences such as Saphira flying speedily through a canyon, and the walls are racing past at a rate fast enough to make you dizzy. It’s fine if you don’t mind that the makers of the movie decide to totally create a googly- eyed, almost-love story between eragon and the Elf Princess, when in the book, she barely acknowledges his presence and is totally disgusted by his fumbling, little boy crush. She’s like, a hundred years old, and he is like a teenage human, with all the wisdom and maturity that goes along with that. Snort. That was the part I disliked the most. The wise and noble Elf Princess making eyes back at the stuttering, goofy, farmboy.

AS IF.

So, fellow Readers, enjoy the book and skip the movie. Movie-goers, enjoy the movie but don’t expect a life-changing experience. It aint no LOTR, peeps, but the book can hold its own.

I give the book an orange on the Reading Rainbow

I give the movie 2 &s….

& it had good graphics, or animation, or whatever you wanna call it

& it had a couple of pretty good fight scenes and we all know I’m all about that.